Finally, something worthy of a post...

Hi to all.  Nothing amazing has been happening of late. My ministry has been going really well, with a few of my studies making large strides / passing milestone positions to make the truth their own (quote unquote). 

Despite that, some of us were discussing the other day how our experience thus far does not quite match up to the Yearbook experience we had envisioned. To make matters worse, there is a brother here who is like Ray Mears (sic) - taking a canoe, leaving his wife at home and going on month long preaching trips into the jungle. He returns with the most amazing stories and we spend many an hour on the side of the road being entertained by him when we bump. The stories make us all feel so uplifted, but at the same time, so cheapened! To remedy this, we have decided to embark on some trips of our own, so watch this space for some Bear Grylls-type escapades.

To satiate our excitement-hunger, today has been fun so far. Sleeping was difficult last night due to an immense downpour of rain that would not cease. I am staying at a fellow Brits' house as we have the Zone Visit today, so yesterday was the usual comedy of errors of setting up everything needed. We are having it beamed from Trinidad, so the usual chaos of organizing was compounded by a technical element seeing as no one here can use a computer.

Anyway, back on track. I was awoken by Luke (Hancock - some of you know him. Married to Laura, top bloke despite his addiction to being mean to me) asking me if I fancy adventure. My bleary eyed madness caused me to say yes. Apparently, another English couple's house round the corner was sitting under a few feet of water. The rain had been on full pelt since the afternoon yesterday, and the lower lying areas of the town are all flooded. We rolled out of our beds, donned our macks and crocs/sandals and headed out. It was hilarious! The town was indeed flooded - to the extent that the water was up to the top of the frame of our bikes. When we stopped, it was at thigh level. The roads are banked by trenches, so navigating roads I have never seen was a tad frightening. With the rain still lashing, debris floating by (that is a euphemism: people poo in their gardens here, next to the dog, cow, chicken and goat poo. It was all floating by on it's merry way to the sea) we made our way, much to the amusement of the Guyanese poking their heads out of the balconies above.

Poor Nick and Emily. They are in Trinidad for the Zone Visit, so their place is left unattended. Inside it was a mess: a couple of feet of water, papers and photos floating by and lizards and the real risk of snakes. Not fun! We did our best to lift everything up high, including the washing machine, oven and fridge/freezer. Thankfully, the floors are concrete and not carpeted, so hopefully not too much is ruined. Though, being a wooden house and the water level rising, there is the likelihood of the walls rotting and blistering. We grabbed their clothes that were on floor level and did our best to protect what was left. Such a shame. We will keep the news until they are at the airport flying back so as not to spoil the break they deserve out in Trini.

On the return to the house, we passed by different brothers and sisters’s houses to make sure all were okay - we were like a mobile disaster unit! Crossing a bridge was interesting, as the wooden planks were not fixed, so you had to trap a floating plank with one foot whilst hauling the bike and yourself onto the next. 'twas quite funny indeed.

So, we have made it back, wet through and covered in who knows what. Bacon and eggs and American pancakes with coffee for reward (currently in New Amsterdam, which is a town so you can buy bacon and such lovely amazing things that are things of legends where we live). We have a slight respite until 2, when we need to head off to the Zone Visit site. I am interpreting today for a large part of it. Will update on the bus on the way home to Skeldon where hopefully we will find our own homes unflooded. 

In other news, just to let you all know I am moving house! Where I live now is great but there is the constant pain of no water in the mornings and evenings and the lack of Internet. DC and Sarah recently left, leaving their place vacant. It is a third floor property that was originally designed as a bar! For basically the same money I get a massive outside area, an enclosed bedroom that is mosquito-proofed and a bath and shower, with hot water! Although it also suffers from a lack of water at times, their supply is much more stable and the absolute bonus is that the property enjoys all-day wifi. Hopefully this will allow me to Skype with you all at some point. Another benefit is that the other foreigners live downstairs and the missionary couple in a house on the same lot. Very excited about moving and being able to have people round now that I have more than one room. Anyway, slipped that one in... But back to the zone visit - I will do a part 2 as a separate update as I know you all hate reading too-long narratives. X...

Playing hookie

Today started badly - no water at my place, bad nights sleep and feeling a cold come on. It seems we were all of a like-mind at the ministry group: needing a pick-me-up. Even a breakfast of ice cream and Oreo cookies didn't remedy the situation so we took drastic action - we ditched the plans for the morning and grabbed a bus up the coast to the Mecca - Spready's bakery. About an hour away, it is the only place in Berbice that has fresh bread and things you would find in any normal place back home like pastry and nice fried chicken. Despite the bus being made for 15 people and there being an average of 23 in the back, despite seeing a dog eating the carcass of another dog and despite being ripped off for the journey (£1.50 rather than 90p), we arrived at the glory of Spready's. The purchase of cookie mix, fried chicken, spicy chips and a drink over, our spirits were lifted and the world seemed to fall back to usual axis. We chilled in the sun, laughing at groups of school boys practicing dance moves in the reflection of the shop window, glad for the rebellious streak we suffered. It sounds ever so quaint, but afterwards everything seemed a little brighter and we still managed to conduct two studies, finishing my hours for the month. Everything past today is bonus time! Yay! My original flights would have me returning to England in two weeks, but just to let anyone that cares know that I am staying longer. I am now the only brother here for sign language and would hate to leave our merry band in the lurch. I am the only one caring for the male studies in the deaf field and have a load of studies with the young ones, so don't feel it is the right time to head back just yet. I might complete the year and come back in August, I might stay beyond that. So for all of you who placed bets on how long I would be here, my six months is already up, and I am still going strong. Missing home like crazy, missing wine, port and whiskey even more, but determined to stay and see what Jehovah can do with me for a lil bit more. Ciao for now.

Just make a hole, it's not that hard

Well, I had my first experience of an outside toilet today! Quite a few of the others have regaled us with stories of the outside toilets and the horrendous events that ensued. After India I thought, what can be so bad... Today I found out. Try doing it in the dark! In India, people generally had buckets of water or a tap and a bucket for one to do one's business, wash and wipe and on one goes. It seems that they were five star accommodations. The bad ones at least had a stack of leaves for one to use to wipe up. Here, I should be so lucky. Today, I finished a study and some of the sisters passed by and said to join them popping in on someone else. Walking along I had that harrowing feeling that I was going to burst and there was nowhere to go. Arriving at the house, I went followed the directions given to an outside loo, with no light, with no hole, with a tiny tap and a flat floor. What was a man to do??? I went for it in my best 'hoicking' action, crying inside of the thought of it all going on me and my shoes! I know this is a disgusting post, but my posts are far too serious and this was one of the funniest things that has happened in a while so I thought I must share. Anyway, in the absence of any kind of ability to clean it all up and stuff, I did what anyone would do - I ran! Ashamed but slightly funny. All I can say is thank goodness I bought 30 bottles of pocket hand sanitizer when I left - a god send! As you all frequent your porcelain this morning, give a thought for those of us living on the edge. X